So the sibling rivalry in my house is extremely high. Of course they all do want the same attention and I try. We are working on the sibling love but this has become a big project. They love each other but somehow they do not get along. They never do unless there are only two of them together.
When they say 3 is a charm, I know they are not talking about my Home. I wanted to come up with some ways so that they compete with each other but in a positive way. I have tried the chart approach which seems to be working.
My kids also love to help me to do chores but before I had positive rewards they only wanted to help me when I did not need it.
So I wanted to come up with a way so that my kids would compete at being good. They were such pros at competing to see who could annoy each other the best, that I thought this could work. So I have a dry erase board hanging in a room in my house. I have all of their names on it and several boxes.
The boxes on the behavior chart include: talking back, doing chores, being nice to siblings, doing well in school, and minding. Every day when something happens that is out of line, in any of the columns, I place a check mark in it. For instance, I ask my son to do something such as pick up his clothes from the bathroom. If he ignores me and I find out later, he then gets a check mark in the minding section of the behavior chart.
The goal of this behavior chart is to have the least check marks at the end of each week. There are various rewards in which I discuss with them each week. Obviously first place gets the best reward over the others.
An example of a weekly chart goal:
1st place- gets two dollars for the week
2nd place- gets one dollar for the week
3rd place- gets a coupon to skip vegetable for one day of the week and still get desert
The prizes can vary and they are still quite young so money is not always the prize. This is just an example of what could be decided by all of us. There is another variable involved in this tactic though. If they go over seven check marks in one week then they are excluded from the running. Believe me they do not like to be out of this competition very often.
This has done really well so far and incorporates another chart into the process. As we can see there is a section for doing chores. Well where do they get there chores from? Introducing…………………………………
The Chore Chart
This chart is set up the same way as the behavior chart. There are many things that need to be done in the house. Mind you they are still very young so these tasks are fairly simple.
The first and most important thing to me is picking up after themselves. I got so sick and tired of picking up shoes and towels from the bathroom. Remember I am a single father and I work hard each week. It drives me crazy to come home and have to be the one to pick up after all my precious children.
On this Chart are simple things like unload the dishwasher, pick up your room, and other simple chores. This chart is part of the behavior chart so it does not get special rewards. However if they do not do the chores on the chart then they get a check mark in the chores section of the behavior chart.
The sibling love is not shown very much but the sibling rivalry plays a big role in this chart as well. The behavior charts have been working so far and I intend to keep using them.
So finally I use the reward chart and this is a record of the rewards that are won each week. It starts to tally up what they have earned and allows them to remember what they have accomplished. It has a running tally of whatever they have accumulated over the weeks. The kids love to look at this chart. They then look at the behavior chart as a must do job each day. It shows them how work pays off when we consistently do it each and every day.
It is very simple to accomplish this project and the time it takes to put it together, pays off in the amount of help you begin to receive from your children. Not only does it help you but it also helps you in raising your kids in the right way. It makes me feel good when they want to do well and also the people they are growing up to be. Here are some tools that I suggest in setting this up for your family.
3 dry Erase boards – it is easier to use these then standard paper is because you can simply erase them each week and start again.
Dry erase markers – I like to have at least three colors. I do use red for check marks on the behavior chart and green for check marks on the chore chart.
Time – I like to include my children when deciding the chores they will do each week as well as the rewards that can be won. Again it is not always money but you can be creative as you know your kids well.
So this is a fun project and it does not take more than a few minutes to invest in your children’s future. At the same time you get the needed help when you are a single parent. I mean isn’t life hard enough without the little extra cleanups involved. Now I am a single dad laughing and making the best of the tools I can work with. Behavior charts have really helped me. Click here for more information.
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